Meet Our USA Robots
The original Jolly Roger!

The voice of our founder, with the now classic inane comments (e.g. "there's a bee on me") that have ungainfully occupied thousands of Telemarketers.

1.

Demo of "Jolly Roger" - (warning: includes vulgarity)
00:00 / 00:00
206 - 259 - 4991

This scammer will get tired of trying to convince Jolly Roger to buy solar panels.  So he has his supervisor give it a try; at about 5:54 this guy has a melt down.

206 - 259 - 4891
if you DO want a recording
if you do NOT want a recording

2.

Salty Sally

Sally is a busy mom doing her best to pay attention to unsolicited calls, but her teenage daughter keeps distracting her.  Let's try not to get her mad!

Demo of "Salty Sally" - (warning: includes vulgarity)
00:00 / 00:00
206 - 259 - 4983

This caller is trying to steal credit card information.   After about 3:10 he can't decide if he's mad or aroused.

if you DO want a recording
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4883
206 - 259 - 4883
if you do NOT want a recording
if you DO want a recording
206 - 259 - 4983
206 - 259 - 4983
if you DO want a recording
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4883
206 - 259 - 4883
if you do NOT want a recording
if you DO want a recording
206 - 259 - 4983
Demo of "Whitey Whitebeard" -
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Whitey Whitebeard

Whitey is a senior citizen who likes to talk but gets a bit fiesty if you waste his time.  A very patient telemarketer might be rewarded if he can slow it down and get Whitey's attention .... or not.

3.

206 - 259 - 4893

Did you know that Whitey can save up to 40% on his electric bills?   Well  he doesn't either.   Listen as this friendly but persistent telemarketer tries to sell him solar panels.

if you DO want a recording
206 - 259 - 4993
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4882

4.

Jolly Jenny

What if Jolly Roger had a better half?  Would she like talking to telemarketers too?   Of course!  Jenny is never too busy to spend a couple of minutes on the phone talking to scammers on your behalf.

Demo of "Jolly Jenny" - (warning: includes vulgarity)
00:00 / 00:00

Another incredibly rude con-man trying to steal your credit card information.    After 2:35 he starts to get ugly.  

if you DO want a recording
206 - 259 - 4982
if you do NOT want a recording
if you DO want a recording
Demo of "Whiskey Jack" - (warning: includes vulgarity)
00:00 / 00:00
Whiskey Jack

It's always fun at Jack's house, but he's a busy man so you'll have to be quick to grab his attention between plays of the big game on TV.

5.

206 - 259 - 4892

Listen to this scammer try to fool Jack into installing a virus on his computer.  He goes ballistic about about 6:45 into the call, and then his supervisor takes over....and eventually goes ballistic too!

206 - 259 - 4992
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4981

6.

Debbie Doldrums

Scammers get caught up talking to Debbie because she's so normal and enthusiastic.   Before they know it they've wasted days stuck in the doldrums.

Demo of "Debbie Doldrums" -
00:00 / 00:00

This caller wants to buy Debbie's house.    She's interested but just can't seem to make up her mind.

if you DO want a recording
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4881
206 - 259 - 4884
if you do NOT want a recording
if you DO want a recording

Listen as we unleash the Kraken upon a scammer trying to steal credit card numbers.

Demo of "Kim the Kraken" -
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Kim the Kraken

Is it time to crush the scammers that are harassing you?  If so, then release Kim the Kraken and let her, and her team of Mr. Jiggles and the streaking baby exact revenge on your behalf.

7.

206 - 259 - 4984
206 - 259 - 4997

8.

Bloody Billy

Looking for a robot who is not squeamish when it comes to fighting scammers? Bloody Billy rolls up his bloody sleeves, and makes you laugh while wasting tons of telemarketer's time!

Demo of "Bloody Billy" - (warning - includes vulgarity)
00:00 / 00:00

Billy does some cooking while a telemarketer tries to sell him office-cleaning services.    It takes until about 6:30 in before he shows his true colors.  The blood starts flowing around 8 minutes in.

if you DO want a recording
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4897
206 - 259 - 4894
if you do NOT want a recording
if you DO want a recording

Moby just sits back and let's this timeshare salesman sink under the wieght of his own hot air.  At about 3:40 into the call the salesman confidently states that he "won't get fooled by that !@&*",  but of course is completely fooled!

Demo of 'Moby Dick' - (warning - includes vulgarity)
00:00 / 00:00
Moby Dick

He talks sports, he talks religion, he talks nonsense.   Scammers think they're hunting him, but he will sink their boats every time!

9.

206 - 259 - 4994
206 - 259 - 4985

10

Crazy Mazy

She seems like a nice old lady with a couple of screws loose.   But she's crazy like a fox when it comes to luring scammers into long, funny conversations.

Demo of 'Crazy Mazy' -
00:00 / 00:00

A scammer selling prescription drugs  "would love to help you get the pain relief you deserve".  But when she calls Mazy, the agent is the one who needs pain relief!  Mazy is very worried about her grandson, and what a coincidence...at about 3 minutes in we learn that the agent knows Mazy's grandson, and promises her that he will visit later that day.   

if you DO want a recording
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4885
Have us pick a robot

When you send us your call, we will randomly pick a robot for you.

OR

206 - 259 - 4980  To pick any female robot
206 - 259 - 4990  To pick any male robot
206 - 259 - 4999  To pick any robot
206 - 259 - 4880
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4890
if you do NOT want a recording
206 - 259 - 4899
if you do NOT want a recording

Robots available in US only at this time. Coming soon to Canada, UK, Australia, and New Zealand.


Merchandise available in the continental US only.

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The Jolly Roger Telephone Company, a "Roger the Phone Guy" invention.
710 S. Myrtle Avenue, Unit 273

Monrovia, CA 91016

USA

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© 2017 by the Jolly Roger Telephone Company